“He that is without sin among you…let him cast a stone…
So I cast that mutha.”
I distinctly remember this from a Bloom County cartoon, although I can’t remember who specifically said it.
I bring it up in reference to my judgy-ness. Judge judge judge. Don’t judge me I only judge you k? The best thing about judgy-ness is its complete lack of reliance on pause and reflection or any form of deep thought. It’s so easy! You get to just blurt things out then walk away proudly, upright, with a slightly smug and completely punch-able expression on your face. Yes!
It my lesser moments, I judge and unfortunately verbalize my judgement. It’s completely vapid and useless and regrettable.
In my better moments, I avoid judgement by forcing myself to not open my mouth. Literally. Forcing silence. THEN, and only then, can I reflect on what’s happening, remind myself it’s not about me, and engage in the other person’s perspective. Word-on-the-street is this is called being empathetic.
My friend was recently empathetic when, after hearing about my freelance work essentially vaporizing, he simply said “…yup when you started this you didn’t realize within two weeks the world was going to explode.” It was insta-empathy I didn’t realize I needed. I hope I can remember to mirror the act of giving that embodies empathy.
Granted if he had been say anything-less-than-empathetic I would have called him a tool and threatened to egg his car which I would certainly do despite the fact I’m of the age where vandalism in punishable by a misdemeanor charge versus being viewed as a wild act of brazen, unruly youth who just need a little direction and who knows maybe they’ll grow up to be Technology Giants.
Whoah sorry got kind of worked up there – need to think more empathetic thoughts.
Speaking of worked up, I can’t remember the last time I was shorted on empathy by some loser. Maybe because I’m too busy shorting everyone else (I hope not). When it does happen my instinct is to rapidly change the subject or bring the conversation to a close, unless it’s a friend I can verbally assault and possibly throw things at as stated above. So during my standard non-violent reaction to an empathy vacuum my brain basically says “get me the hell outta here” while my body literally squirms. Then I go and try and find some unruly youths to hang out with.
Either way, we’d all be better off with less judgy judge, a little more silence and a lot more empathy.
And if Bloom County came back.