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Bartolomeo (real name) walks into the room with THIS song playing.

It’s a conference room with roughly 30 well-spaced people sitting in uncomfortable, shiny bright metal-framed chairs, the kind surfaced in mysterious upholstery that’s constantly unravelling. This is the home office, in a strip mall in Federal Way, Washington. They do finance stuff.

It’s incredible to witness.

He’s there to receive recognition for being a great team lead. Which he is. He’s also essentially ego-less, which in great contrast to the song.

It’s all about contrast baby doll yeah.

If some West Coast Sales Director does the same thing during an awards ceremony for exceeding quotas at a shareholder’s meeting it comes across as redundant. And, depending on worldview, incredibly repulsive. Not unlike the phrase “baby doll.”

But we all know that.

Everyone needs to pick an entrance. It doesn’t have to be for a recognition ceremony or awards banquet. No one really wants to go to those anyway, excluding the recipient, possibly the person giving the award, and certainly extroverts. Especially single extroverts.

No, figure out how to enter work tomorrow. Or the doctor’s office. Or Costco. 

Video calls count. If it’s the kitchen/basement/closet/kid’s room/front porch…doesn’t matter. It still deserves an entrance theme. And it needs to be documented.

“Scared,” “too busy,” “annoyed,” “calling the police”…all perfectly good, yet unfortunately unacceptable, excuses.

The greatness of the universe is pulling everyone toward the supernova of expansive, limitless thinking, and there’s nothing that can stop it. Think about an exploding star or a preening toucan – nothing can stop them, so what’s going to stop you?

Your own mind.

That’s the task. Do it with your own style, your own form of swagger. Swagger is a terrible, horrific word with all sorts of self-involved implications, but in this case it’s appropriate because we know you don’t want to do the entrance. The hell with it. It’s January 5th. Swagger it out, in your own way.

Here’s the compromise. Do it, but you don’t have to share it. In fact, our legal department officially states NOT to share it, and to sign and return the waivers arriving by express courier tonight. 

But even they say you do have to tell us what happens.

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Engaging irreverence, occasional coherence, often pointed, mixed with enough indelicate humor as to create a want, a craving for more.