LinkedIn Rejections

Share Post:

Share on facebook
Share on linkedin
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email

Does anyone get their LinkedIn Friend, er, Connection Request rejected?

It must happen.

Perhaps it’s done in a passive aggressive way, where the recipient of the request kind of curls up into a ball, shrinks back from the desk, and powers-down their laptop with one curled finger rather than saying “no.”

Is there even a “no” option? Someone send me a Friend, er, Connection Request and I’ll see if there’s a some form of rejection button.

If there is an outright rejection option, that would be SO GREAT, and add an element of humanity to The World’s Foremost Professional Gatherer of Studio Headshots Completely Unrepresentative of the Current State of the User.

And I mean crushing rejection, like the time Susan Carlyle told me she didn’t want to hold my hand in the 6th grade because I was Catholic.

LinkedIn is a mystery. The times I’ve spoken to people about it (people I know, and physically see, who happen to be employed), the discussion turns to its (a.) “crappy” communication format, (b.) tendency to generate unwanted solicitations (not for me, I’m desperate for solicitations) and (c.) accumulation of connections that end up being people you don’t actually know.

This latter part I can attest to. Frequently I’ll look for some company to extort and next to the organization’s name there’s this teeny tiny circle with an image in it and the phrase “1 connection works here”. What? I have no idea who that person is. Do I owe her money? Can I ask her for money? Is she susceptible to Ponzi schemes? I’ll never know, because I don’t know. Them.

I’m assuming this same disassociated association exists on popular social media platforms I don’t utilize because I don’t want people knowing my business. Like Facebook. Or Instagram. (Truth be told I avoid Instagram because I take terrible selfies that scream “Catholic,” which I’m still traumatized about thanks to Susan.)

I’m sure LinkedIn makes sense and I’m just misunderstanding it and reinforce this misunderstanding by only surrounding myself with dysfunctional, slightly out of shape middle-aged people who also think the Internet is an elaborate trick.

In the meantime I’ve hired a photographer to help me glam up my profile picture.

More Updates

Beware of Physics and Esprit de Corps

The original conversation went something like this: Lieutenant: “He said he never makes mistakes, they’re just misunderstandings.” Chief: “What were you doing in the sewage

Subscribe to our newsletter or we'll totally freak out.

Engaging irreverence, occasional coherence, often pointed, mixed with enough indelicate humor as to create a want, a craving for more.