Dave & The Dancing Conspiracy

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Does everyone know how to dance really well? Like, really well, with rhythm, different styles and methodologies, while wearing cool space clothes seemingly from wherever the cool people hang out in outer space?

Certainly not the space station. That place seems like kind of a drag. 

Dave asks the question because Dave sees ads, oddly enough, on regular-broadcast-not-cable-but-actually-from-an-antennae-tv, where roughly 18 to 23-year-olds dance into their smartphones and look absolutely perfect doing it. 

Or at least their smartphones are pointed at them with the camera rolling while they dance, recording every super smooth, pro-looking move.

Maybe somebody’s holding the phone. Maybe there’s a tripod set up. Who cares? They’re dancing, vainly. Although Dave’s not sure there’s another way to dance.

These people are dancing as part of an ad. So it’s probably filmed with one of those $55,000.00 Real TV Cameras that Dave occasionally sees on Live Local News when reporters are in the field covering some mundane or potentially hyper-dangerous story/breaking news and the main camera pans too far out of frame and catches the other hapless, embarrassed cameraperson (usually an unshaven, backwards baseball hat-wearing man) with his theoretical camera-pants down, desperately skulking and dodging out of frame like he’s about to be blasted with an evil villain’s thermonuclear laser cannon or at the very least as if it’s the most embarrassing thing to ever possibly happen in life (being a cameraman caught on camera)…sorry dude no one knows who you are so don’t sweat it, although your other camera buddies will surely give you a good ol’ ribbing at the bar later and you’ll have to buy a few rounds. You know, the kind of shoulder-held camera with two arms that extend out in front with Action Grips, the same way motorcycles or bikes have grips, or the AG-2G Quad Laser Cannon on the Millennium Falcon was set up. With the grips. 

The ads (shudder) are for Tic Toc. Or Instagram. Or Facebook. Or the Dow Jones Industrial Average which owns all three. Either way, the ads involve dancing young people.

Which begs Dave’s question – does everyone do this in real life? It seems unlikely. What if you’re not a dancer or singer or rapper or any of the other really cool people that are ubiquitous to social media and technology ads which in turn implies they are ubiquitous to social media and technology? What if you’re just Dave? Do you still use the apps? Does the advertising make you want to stay with the platform or brand?

There’s been a lot a talk lately about the tail wagging the dog. Er, according to Dave. Although he doesn’t really know what that means. It’s been discussed that people create the demand and the media fills it. There’s no conspiracy, no multi-national ad agencies crafting influencing messages then suddenly girls have eating disorders and guys smoke because it looks cool. Or, in this case, guys and girls think they need to be cute, fit and intricately dance while being vain on social media or perhaps when just using a laptop.

Dave’s torn. He wants to believe they are just innocuous stories framed within the worldview of the target audience, e.g. the advertisers are just connecting the preexisting dots – young folks like to have fun and post it for their friends to see.

But Dave’s not so sure. But then again, Dave may be the only one judges and worries about stuff like this.

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